In Front of the Yellow Line
Seasons Greetings
By Shawn Wells

(A note before I get into this. There are a few situations where you'll come across specific information in this post that I've chosen to redact. You may have noticed, if you're a regular reader, that I've never named my city in my blog. Part of the reason is because I like to keep my posts as generic as possible. But the other reason is that this blog is not officially sanctioned by my city. Although I don't think I ever bad mouth my employer, these are my opinions alone and in no way reflect the opinions of my employer. The majority of the people who read this know where I live anyway and I know I've left enough clues in my posts that anyone could probably figure it out. For the purposes of this specific post, I feel it's important to list the full information, even if I'm redacting specific words.  Hopefully you can understand my reasoning. Basically: I'm covering my ass.)

Hey! Merry Chri... er... Holiday Greetings everyone! The fact is, I've never seen the problem with saying Merry Christmas. I understand the theory of trying not to offend, but frankly if someone were to say to me "Happy Hanukkah" I'm not going to turn around and say "Actually, I'm not Jewish." For me, it's the thought that counts. The fact that anyone wishes me well at all. I'm not religious either, but if someone says "God be with you" I'm not going to refuse their good intentions. And believe me, on my bus I've definitely had people say all sorts of things that don't follow the same belief system that I do.

But I digress. I don't want to start a debate about being politically correct or proper holiday etiquette. What I actually want to talk about is those signs you see on the front of a bus. Don't worry, it's related. You'll see. The signs I'm referring to are the "Public Relations" messages. You've probably seen them. Anything that a bus displays that isn't a route number or destination. This could be anything from "Express" to "Welcome Aboard" to "Go Sports Team Go".

I've been asked before "Do you get to program your own messages?" The answer is a simple no. I get to choose from a list of canned messages. Really, if we had free reign on what we get to display, that could easily turn bad. Especially when I consider some of the grumpy coworkers I've seen. On occasion, we will be instructed to put up specific messages. These would be things that the city (my employer) would require the public to know. One of these messages in my city, as an example,  would be "Parking Ban in Effect". We see this one in the winter when the streets are being plowed of snow, informing people to not park in the "Snow Route" areas. And sometimes we'll be strongly encouraged to put up other messages, if the peer pressure doesn't get to us first. One example I can think of is last summer, a police officer in our city was killed in the line of duty and they went to the trouble of programming the busses with a special hashtag message for the occasion. They didn't insist that we put this message up, but it was definitely encouraged. Of course, I can't imagine any of our drivers being disrespectful enough not to. Same with "Welcome Home Troops". No matter what your perspective or opinion is on war or the military, it's just in bad taste to not go with the majority with a message like that.

I'm not a big user of these messages. Some of the drivers program PR messages as part of their normal routine. The problem I find is that they easily confuse people. Some of the messages we have are so long that you hardly get enough time to read the actual important information like route number and destination. We have one that's so long, it cycles through 3 different screens before it gets back to the main destination screen. A veritable essay when you're trying to read something on a moving object. For people waiting at a stop, if the actual route is only displayed once every 10 seconds, this can be a challenge for catching the right bus. As I've mentioned in the past, some people have enough trouble getting on the correct bus already,  why complicate it even more?

Here's a perfect example. I remember once that I drove by one of those stops that services the same bus no matter which direction it's going. These are complicated enough for some people because they REALLY have to pay attention to what the destination says. I was headed to an easterly destination. But because it was around Remembrance day (the Canadian equivalent of Veteran's day, in case you don't know), I had the extra message "Lest We Forget" displayed which one woman read as "West [redacted] Mall" and she got on my bus. Boy was she upset when soon after I was headed in the opposite direction. But I can see the honest mistake. She had seen the number from a distance, and she had seen most of the correct letters on the sign. If she's not paying close enough attention, she's going to end up the victim of minor dyslexia. Ever since that day, I've been a little more conscious of these additional messages on the bus.

There are a few that I will use regularly, I admit. Our city has an NHL hockey team and a CFL football team. On game days, you bet I'll show support for the home team and put up a "Go [redacted] Go" message. I've also on occasion used the messages to crack a joke. My city is one where you can never be surprised by unseasonable weather at any time of year. I remember once when it snowed in June and I decided it was hilarious to put up "Welcome to [redacted]". Of course, it's only hilarious to people that read it sarcastically. But boy do I wish I could've had a "Merry Christmas" or " Winter Wonderland" sign to put up that day.

Now here's where it all ties together. One problem I have with these messages are the ones that are vague and non specific. We have a generic "Happy Holiday" message that we can use. But let's face it, not all holidays are created equal. I know I've had this conversation before: "Why is it a long weekend? What's the holiday? Victoria day? What the hell is Victoria day? Do I get paid overtime? Ok then... that's all that matters." Really, if you were watching Family Feud and Steve Harvey says "Name a holiday", "Labour Day" is not going to be the number one answer. Christmas and Easter... those are your flagship holidays. The problem is, for political correctness reasons, they're also the most controversial.  Our busses do have a few messages that single out specific holidays.... Thanksgiving,  Canada day and the aforementioned Remembrance day, but nothing specific to the others. So, on Christmas Day, I only have the option to put up the same message I would use for any other redheaded stepchild holiday.

I would like it if I could get a "Seasons Greetings" message to display in December. At least that's a vanilla, non-offensive option. But unfortunately I don't get that as a choice. Just plain old blunt "Happy Holiday". Not even holidays with an "s" on the end. Sadly, I've also never thought of a non-denominational way to say "Happy Easter" either. So it also gets the generic "Happy Holiday" sign. The way I see it is that people take themselves too seriously, especially when it comes to something that has a basis in religion. At Easter, whether you celebrate the resurrection of Christ or a bunny that hides eggs or both or neither, the fact remains that if you live in my country, you get to benefit from the perks that come with the holiday. You don't have to celebrate the holiday itself, but why not celebrate the fact that you get a day off or overtime pay. Enjoy it! You don't celebrate Easter, that's fine. But at least respect the fact that the majority of the people around here do and that's the reason you're getting a 4 day weekend right now. Don't get your panties in a twist just  because people want to wish you a Happy Easter. People's personal beliefs don't really affect me that strongly. I've been to baptisms even though I'm not Christian. I once attended a Hindu wedding and followed their customs out of respect,  despite the fact I'm not Hindu. Want me to come to your Bar Mitzvah wearing a yarmulke?  Sure. Doesn't mean I'm converting, but I'm also not going to try and impose my own cultural beliefs on you either. I'll come and celebrate the occasion and enjoy the party.

Personally, I would be perfectly happy to observe something like "Kardashian Day" if it meant I get more money on my paycheque. Sure, I probably wouldn't CELEBRATE the holiday... I'm not going to go and prepare the traditional "Kardashian Day feast" of rump roast (am I right? Hahaha... high five me on that one!) because I'm afraid that meal would just be tasteless and full of regret. (Ha! I'm on a roll here! C'mon! Don't leave me hangin' on that high five!) But if someone wished me a "Happy Kardashian Day" I'll say thank you, rather than launch into some debate about how I don't share the same spiritual beliefs. I may even be willing to put up a "Happy Holiday" greeting in its honor. "Happy Kardashian Day? You betcha! I'm getting paid triple today!" People... Don't get offended so easily.

Maybe you live in a city where they have a little more fun and don't worry as much about offending people. A city where the busses actually do say "Merry Christmas" or at the very least "Season's Greetings". Not here though. I'd even like to see some of the non holiday holidays get recognition. Days like Halloween or St. Patrick's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day or Valentines Day. Or even something progressive like Pride Day. I don't even get a Happy New Year sign to display. Is it possible that it's because other countries like the Ukraine or China don't celebrate the New Year on December 31st? Perhaps. But I'm not working in those countries. I've made suggestions about adding more Public Relations messages into our suggestion box at work and gotten nothing. Also suggestions for other possible signs like "Go Canada Go" which could be displayed during the Olympics for example. Or the fact that there are 3 different sports teams in our city that we're allowed to wear jerseys to support,  but only 2 of those teams get a "Go Sports Team Go" sign dedicated to them. Maybe they actually should give me the power to program my own signs. Nah... that's still a bad idea any way you look at it.

Oh well... I guess I'll have to settle for wearing a Santa hat at this time of year. I will say, I've been wearing it all month and not a single person has complained that they're offended by it. In fact, I get more smiles and compliments from passengers in the month of December than any other time of year. Merry Christmas, everyone! There. I said it. And look at that, the political correctness police didn't come and arrest me.

However, just in case... Happy Hanukkah,  Joyous Kwanzaa,  Festivus for the rest of us! Whatever your beliefs at this time of year, I hope it's a good one! And a very Kardashian New Year to you too!

From in front of the yellow line, that's how I see it.